~4/16/02-Random Rant. This is an old rant about Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.~

Why is it that every damn goth/punk/indie kid I know only mentions freaking Johnny The Homicidal Maniac when they talk about comics, or if they're a little older/refined: Sandman. Yeah damn near everything that freakin' slacker Vasquez writes is hilarious, and Gaiman is a god. But jeezus, bring up something new for once. Those two titles are like the freaking vanilla ice cream of the alternative comic world. Everyone knows them and likes them, they're safe to mention because someone won't think you're uncool for reading them. I can't count on my appendages the number of times some kid has brought up Johnny trying to be the coolalternativepunk who doesn't read those pussy kid and superhero books like Bone, or Planetary. Of course those books rock, and this dumb kid is just further deepening the rut of of fucking mundaneness by reading what others have told him is cool. YOU'RE NOT ALTERNATIVE! YOU'RE JUST CONFORMING TO THE NORM OF NONCONFORMITY! YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER COG IN THAT GREAT BIG MACHINE OF STEREOTYPES WE CALL SOCIETY! (side note: the same thing goes for those that mention Ann Rice. Who hasn't read her work? Doesn't make ya cool. Having a signed and numbered hardcover copy of the Gauntlet Press edition of "Are You Loathsome Tonight?" might help ya regain that cool factor you whiny goth fuck.)

C'mon people, expand those horizons and mention something else for a change. We won't think less of you, really. Most people would actually think more. Because it doesn't matter what you're into as long as you don't hide it. And besides...the Geek knows. He sells you your JTHM, and when you slink in later to buy your D&D and Pokemon he'll sell you that too. He doesn't care, but he aspires to make everyone a little better in his own way. And if you want to make him a little better you'll buy some of his crap at 3rd Millennium Comics, and yes we do have all of the JTHM, LENORE, SQUEE, SPOOKY, ETC ETC ETC.

Yes I did tell you to buy my shit, after going off about it. Sue me. Yup, I'm a whore. Buy my shit or eat it.